Ambivalence

You’re not in love with her 

If yelling at her in an argument doesn’t make your throat burn like you just downed six shots, you’re not in love with her.

If her eyes can’t make you stop in your tracks and think about what you are about to say next, you’re not in love with her.

If her laugh doesn’t make you tense up your knuckles thinking about never hearing it again, you’re not in love with her.

If it only hurts her when she cries, you’re not in love with her.

If her voice cant calm your worst anxiety attacks and make you want to listen to anything she has to say, you’re not in love with her.

If her smile doesn’t make your chest quake and your lungs shrink but feel refreshed all in one motion, you’re not in love with her. 

If her taking her clothes off is when you pay the most attention to her, you’re not in love with her at all. 

Best wishes,

Maahi PM

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Daily Prompt: Overcome

via Daily Prompt: Overcome

Sometimes I cannot believe the difficulties that I have actually overcome. The painstaking, melancholy of life has left its marks on my soul as well as my body, yet here I still am. Yet I often question whether human really do overcome the things that they endure. Overcoming is a powerful phenomenon and understanding what it really is requires some deeper level of consideration. The pain, the anguish, the betrayal as well as all the other set backs, so what does it really mean to overcome something? Do we actually overcome or do we just learn to live life because that is the only option we have available? A majority of the time we as human seem to just adapt and ‘overcome’ the hindrance that has come our way.

Overcoming to me is a form of getting past an obstacle of some sort, this can be emotional, practical, internal or external. But the difference I see is that overcoming means accepting the situation or obstacle and using it in a manner which aids personal development. The overcoming process is not an easy one, its one that is a struggle, painful and often one where you lose some aspect of your being or life. It is not a simplified process and more of a life process of learning to adjust and adapt to difficult changes with sacrifices on the way. Do we ever really overcome these moments? How can we really overcome the pain of a broken heart or a failure of some form? Isn’t the word overcome just a masquerade for adaptation and learning to live with loss? 

I am not what I have done, I am what I have overcome. 

Best wishes 

Maahi PM 

A reason to live 

The only reason I choose to stay alive is so my family doesn’t live with the devastation of my suicide. My pain is not more than the life long pain they would live with. 

Best wishes, 

Maahi PM 

Daily Prompt: Finite

Via Daily Prompt: Finite

When this daily prompt was first put out as a recommendation, I was thinking of how I could master the essence of the word. So here’s my try, see what you think.

Finite: limited in size or extent.

World: Finite
Universe: Infinite

Body: Finite
Mind: Infinite

Words: Finite
Feelings: Infinite

Human: Finite
God: Infinite

Body: Finite
Soul: Infinite

Present: Finite
Future: Infinite

Life: Finite
Expectations: Infinite

Comfort: Finite
Discomfort: Infinite

 

Best Wishes,

Maahi PM

Daily Prompt: Uneven

via Daily Prompt: Uneven

Uneven we remain

Uneven we remain
No harmony entangles us in union
No laughter chirps on our lips
Our visions divided, separate

Uneven we remain
Melancholy engulfed in our hearts
One a seeker, one a distancer

Uneven, not balanced.
You and I live.
Uneven, not certain.
You and I exist.

Uneven we remain
Brought to me by you was the word ‘love’,
Brought to you by me was ‘love is not enough’,
Your words I trusted
Deceit I received

Uneven we remain
You approached me with ‘respect’,
Degraded you left me
Directions uneven
Cultures uneven
Love uneven

Uneven we remain
Uneven we remain

 

Best Wishes,

Maahi PM

Daily Prompt: Infinite

Via Daily Prompt: Infinite

We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.
We must remember that beyond the horizon of the so called impossible is infinite possibility.

Best Wishes,

Maahi PM

A Day…..

A day without her – Fun

A week without her – Tiring

A month without her – Sad

A year without her – Lonely

A life without her – Curse

 

Best Wishes,

Maahi PM

 

Daily Prompt: Gone

Via Daily Prompt: Gone

A few short stories in relation to today’s daily prompt. Somewhere hidden within the text is a sense of something being gone or lost. I find that the word gone itself is very empty with little to offer in terms of emotion.

The Wi-Fi was fine and good 
It was I who had no connections left

“You really mean the world to be my darling!”
This was the birthday text that was sent.
Blue ticks. It’s been read. No reply.
The heart sank. I understood, someone else has taken the place. 

Somewhere between yesterday’s shadow and 
Somewhere between tomorrow’s insecurities 
We end up ruining today’s happiness.

Sooner or later, 
We all come to realise that being a 
Child was the best thing ever.

“Can you live without him?” her friend asked.
“No, but I would rather let him fly than break his wings.”

They both cried endlessly.
One had to forget and move on, 
The other regretted letting go. 

Somewhere between parents expectations and society’s interference, dreams died. 

Take me back in time when people and emotions were real.
Take me to my childhood….

Somewhere between “I want to grow up” and 
“I want to be a child again”, Life happened.

 

Best Wishes,

Maahi PM

You want to…

You want to smile, but you are crying

You are sad, but you want to be happy

You are quiet, but you want to talk

You say you are OK, but you are lying

You stay strong, but you are broken inside

You are afraid, but you do not admit it

You are surrounded by people, but you are alone

You are breathing, but inside you are dead

You talk about feelings, but inside you are empty

You sleep, but you are still tired

You are calm, but inside you are raging

You are everything you do not show

 

Best Wishes,

Maahi PM

 

Daily Prompt: Year

via Daily Prompt: Year

Dear all,

Happy New Year! So the year 2017 is now in full swing across the entire world with so many people making ambitious new years resolutions and plans to make the year ahead that little bit better, that little bit productive and that little bit more worth while.

So what are my plans? Well, I can not say that I have made any such resolutions but more of a real effort to focus on what is important to me. The last few years of my life have been what I call a train wreak and I have just been dragging through it without much thought for the consequences for myself let alone other people. It was strange because every year New Years Day is just another day for me and I pretty much feel indifferent about it. Yet this year, I felt a deeper, more required need for a change, concentration on myself and focus. The change is more required towards a better beginning, rather than a new beginning as such. The past year does not just disappear for people, no matter how much they would wish it to. I wish to concentrate on my goals and dreams which I feel have taken a back bench for a long while and have been severely neglected. I feel a sense of anxiety and excitement all at once and almost an urgency to get going and make my life better for myself first before thinking about making the lives of others better.

So here is my small cloud of ideas to make my year a better more productive one:

  1. Regular meals which are healthy and balanced
  2. Regular meditation for relaxation and clarity of thoughts
  3. Regular exercise for the preservation of health and dexterity
  4. Regular writing; online and journal
  5. Personal and professional development in career and self reflection

I am thankful for what I have been give over the last few years, both the good and bad. The good and maintained my faith in humanity and the bad has been a rude awakening that standing up for myself and thinking about myself is just as important, if not more important.

What does the new year mean for you?

I wish you all the very best. Remember to never give up, there is always a new chance to try again.

With all my love and best wishes to all,

Maahi PM