A reason to live 

The only reason I choose to stay alive is so my family doesn’t live with the devastation of my suicide. My pain is not more than the life long pain they would live with. 

Best wishes, 

Maahi PM 

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Daily Prompt: Uneven

via Daily Prompt: Uneven

Uneven we remain

Uneven we remain
No harmony entangles us in union
No laughter chirps on our lips
Our visions divided, separate

Uneven we remain
Melancholy engulfed in our hearts
One a seeker, one a distancer

Uneven, not balanced.
You and I live.
Uneven, not certain.
You and I exist.

Uneven we remain
Brought to me by you was the word ‘love’,
Brought to you by me was ‘love is not enough’,
Your words I trusted
Deceit I received

Uneven we remain
You approached me with ‘respect’,
Degraded you left me
Directions uneven
Cultures uneven
Love uneven

Uneven we remain
Uneven we remain

 

Best Wishes,

Maahi PM

Daily Prompt: Infinite

Via Daily Prompt: Infinite

We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.
We must remember that beyond the horizon of the so called impossible is infinite possibility.

Best Wishes,

Maahi PM

Daily Prompt: Gone

Via Daily Prompt: Gone

A few short stories in relation to today’s daily prompt. Somewhere hidden within the text is a sense of something being gone or lost. I find that the word gone itself is very empty with little to offer in terms of emotion.

The Wi-Fi was fine and good 
It was I who had no connections left

“You really mean the world to be my darling!”
This was the birthday text that was sent.
Blue ticks. It’s been read. No reply.
The heart sank. I understood, someone else has taken the place. 

Somewhere between yesterday’s shadow and 
Somewhere between tomorrow’s insecurities 
We end up ruining today’s happiness.

Sooner or later, 
We all come to realise that being a 
Child was the best thing ever.

“Can you live without him?” her friend asked.
“No, but I would rather let him fly than break his wings.”

They both cried endlessly.
One had to forget and move on, 
The other regretted letting go. 

Somewhere between parents expectations and society’s interference, dreams died. 

Take me back in time when people and emotions were real.
Take me to my childhood….

Somewhere between “I want to grow up” and 
“I want to be a child again”, Life happened.

 

Best Wishes,

Maahi PM

Tough Love

1. The little things that make us happy, the little things which make us feel loved, cared for, respected and appreciated always seem little at the time, but as the years pass, you will realise that they are what make up the very essence and beauty of your relationship.

2. Love has and will always remain to be a risk and gamble. You may know a person very closely and be very comfortable with them but none of us can ever be 100% sure as none or us can predict the future.

3. It’s more important that everyday you are able to consciously choose your partner to be your partner rather that just blaming it or putting it down merely on fate or simply stating that you were “meant to be.” It would be foolish to think or believe that you just floated passively into the relationship; you, like your partner were equal in choosing to take the steps to develop a relationship with each other so you are equally responsible.

4. Relationships, and by that I mean any relationships are bloody hard work and we all know it. Sometimes, you will become frustrated and you’re going to think that shutting down, bringing up the brick wall and emotionally removing yourself from the problem and quite possibly from the relationship temporarily is the wise and mature thing to do.

5. However, hiding or suppressing your feelings, bringing up that wall and closing yourself off from your partner is just as hurtful to them and harmful to your relationship as it is lashing out or yelling. The behaviour creates unnecessary uncertainty and animosity. Sometimes, it can be more detrimental to withdrawn emotionally from the relationship and your partner and the damage can be irreversible.

6. At times it will feel strange to become so open with another person – not caring when they see you in your most hideous state, being more concerned with having a good sleep than with looking adorable while doing so, having no shame regarding bodily functions, etc.

7. But these sort of things are also what bring you to the next level of intimacy in your relationship – being so close with someone that you feel like they’re the only person in the world who knows the unedited, unfiltered, unperfected version of you. The only person who knows the realest, most simple version of you and loves you because of it.

8. The novelty of a being with a new person is infatuating, but its inability to last long-term is what makes it so addictive in the first place.

9. A lasting, meaningful and long term relationship will not always feel as exciting and thrilling as the beginning of a new fling or affair, but it is much more likely to provide lasting happiness and contentment.

10. Sometimes your significant other is going to absolutely drive you crazy – and not in a passionate, head-over-heels kind of way. Its the kind of crazy where you wish you could make use of a club and a spade, oh and you just have to accept that its totally normal.

11. Physical attraction is critical but you have to remember everybody gets old and wrinkly. Therefore, attraction should be primarily be based on the persons values and their personality from the onset. This way you both are more likely to become more attractive to each other as you grow old together.

12. Love, roses, attraction affection and relationships are not immune to issues, arguments, and disagreements. The relationships which last are simply the ones who work out how to work through it, no matter how long it takes or how unpleasant it may be.

13. You will never be completely in love with every single aspect of your significant other. Of course, most of their quirks will be irresistible, some will drive you up the wall and make you scream. What is important is that you love them as a whole person, without trying to change them into a flawless, ideal and ‘perfect’ partner (who will never exist).

14. It’s easy to be in love when things are simple; it’s harder to be in love and stay in love when it feels as if every part of your life is an effort and a struggle. But as strange as it may sound, in relationships you become much closer when you go through shitty times together, as opposed to the uncomplicated phases of life.

15. It’s normal to love someone very deeply but to sometimes not like them.

16. Harsh as it may sound, you will never be completely fulfilled by another person. They can make you feel whole, loved, and happy. But its is not not at all possible to find the real meaning and purpose of your life within them – they can form a part of your life, but they are not the answer to it entirely. You have to take responsibility for your own happiness first before they can share that happiness with you.

17. Sometimes, loving your partner will not be effortless. It will take work and energy but don’t be under the illusion that this makes your relationship a failure. On the contrary, it makes you both real and human.

Best Wishes,

Maahi PM

Regrets, I’ve had a few

What’s your biggest regret? How would your life have been different if you’d made another decision?

Regrets. We all have them and they play an aspect in shaping our lives. I’m no different. I have some and they often put me in situations that I could avoid. One of my biggest regrets is that I am emotional and, without sounding too self-proclaiming, I’m too nice. There have been times where I have not stood up for myself as much as I should have which has resulted in me often being used and abused. It left me feeling empty and worthless for a while but I still continued. If I had stood firmly on my own two feet and not worry about acceptance and fitting in I think my younger life would most definitely have been happier and easier.

Even now, II do feel that I am a bit of a push over and regret that but there is much more of a better understanding of it, I can almost justify it to myself in a more logical manner, in a more acceptable manner. So I am just covering up and justifying certain behaviours and continuing the same behaviour? Well, no. I know my limits now, I have set my boundaries to protect myself and I myself recognise my limits. When I have not stood up for myself I have often lost out on things I actually deserve and at a later date this has come back to bite me. There would most definitely have been different friends, a different job, a different marriage and a more desirable outcome. It’s all been in aid of being accepted and wanted, which are basic and natural needs of humans. However, I’ve learnt the hard way that pushing something that is not worth pushing is not always a good idea.

My biggest regret is not going for and waiting for what I deserve and in the end it has made me unhappy at times but the concept of being alone and unaccepted was too strong at the time that I was blinded by a desperation. But I’ve grown up now, and quickly too. I’ve learnt what I deserve and I’m now going after it, even if it means leaving a few people whom I do love behind.

Best Wishes,
Maahi PM

 

Obstacles

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Obstacles, problems, challenges, roadblocks: we have all encountered then at some point in our lives. Some of these being greater in intensity than others. Yet we all seem to develop a great fear when we are faced with such circumstances, the fear of the unknown, the fear of failure and the greatest fear of all; the fear of loss, whether it be a commodity or a person. But looking at this from an alternative perspective, why are obstacles present in our life? What purpose do they have?

All obstacles will make any individual into a stronger, more determined person with the internal passion and enthusiasm to succeed. It’s certainly not true that such obstacles won’t hurt, cause much distress and disappointment. They do! And they hurt bad sometimes for an extended period of time. But the one purpose any obstacle has is to test an individuals own boundaries, own determination and desire to succeed. Often people state that they are unable to cope in such situations as its outside their immediate comfort zone. But stop! Ask yourself, what do you want to achieve? A new car? A new house? A promotion or a new job? A wife or husband? A new family? What is more important? The obstacle, or the end goal? When our perspective is changed often our mind-set is changed and our attitude too. Yet we live in complete fear, what ifs become yet another obstacle. These what ifs delay us from reaching our goal, we may not start or may call off the entire thing purely based on fear. The obstacles in our life are not there to deter us from our end goals, instead are there to inspire us to strive forward to achieve, to obtain and to succeed. It is in the very struggle that we learn new skills essential for life such as negotiation, patience and self-confidence. We discover new paths, new problem solving techniques and up on every triumph we gain confidence to explore further.

Obstacles do not determine our destiny, it is our attitude and approach to them which dictates our final achievement. We must believe entirely with our heart that we will succeed, we must accept that there will be problems and delays but look at these from a positive perspective. Having faith in your own self, your own beliefs, your own abilities is key to success. Perhaps this time delay has been given for a more pressing priority, a priority we may have overlooked. This delay maybe the entire obstacle, something which is entirely achievable by us. The alteration in our perceptive can make a big difference. I like obstacles; they teach me to fight even when I have little or no weapons, no ideas, no answers and what appears to be little chance of success. They teach me to be stronger for myself, my loved ones and to have faith, and obstacles teach me remain open-minded for each any every situation has something precious to teach me something which cannot be found in books or texts. Such lessons are found in living life, in actually facing obstacles. Many have told me life is easy if it is enjoyed outside of the constraints of obstacles and to a certain degree I agree. We cannot spend our entire life fighting obstacles, we must take time out to rejoice in the beautiful things that life has to offer us in its unique manner. But life is NOT easy, it IS difficult and this is the ultimate truth there is about life. It is only when we accept this universal truth that we actually begin to enjoy the challenges life has to offer us as well as appreciate the lighter moments of life too. You can move forward with your life and life’s challenges become a lot easier to deal with. Once difficulty is accepted as the very foundation of our life, it no longer surprises you or prevents you from building a lifestyle, attitude and approach which rises above it and tackles it with great force. People who gain and build strength by overcoming challenges and obstacles possesses the only strength which can overcome adversity.

If you’re trying to achieve something great and something worthwhile in life there will be roadblocks. I’ve had them; everybody has had them yet obstacles must not don’t stop you. If we run into a wall, its unlikely that you’ll turn around and give up. Most people will look around for a door or how to climb it, go through it, or work around it. When you are at your lowest point, you are open to the greatest positive change that could happen to you. Happiness, peace and success is not at all the absence of problems, but the strength and faith to deal with them. Strength is not a direct result of what you can do; it is gained and built on how you overcome the challenges you once thought were not possible. All the choices that people make bring them to their current point in life. Ask yourself, where do you want to go next? We have learnt a lot from the paths we have walked, some positive, some negative, some painful and others much more beautiful. But what have you really learnt? From an infinite pool of possibilities, you have learned how to face challenges that life has brought your way. These have injected your life with a new lease of life, a new set of goals and a new passion to succeed. What are the possibilities that most interest you now? Life does not just happen to us, it happens because of us – it’s what you choose to think, do, and create in each moment of difficulty that determines your end result. So what do you choose? Right now is an opportunity of a lifetime. We only get one life to pursue the dreams that make us come alive. It is better to be failing while learning at doing something we love and enjoy, rather than succeeding at doing something we feel mediocre about. Take chances on behalf of what you believe in and fail until you succeed because it is failing within these challenges that will allow for new paths to be created and opened. Step out beyond the safety of your comfort zone over and over again. Face your fears with courage and passion. Keep your word and hold true to your vision until it comes to life.

One lesson I have learnt during my times of adversity is that when you are up in life, your successful and happy your friends SEE who you are. When life brings you roadblocks and challenges, you get to know who your true friends are. There will be a great number of people when you are successful, happy and when times are easy. But take note of and always remember people who remain in your life when life get tough, especially the people who sacrifice the resources they have in their own life to help you improve yours when you really need it most. These people are your true friends.

Life is full of challenges, face them and tackle them with all your might. Enjoy this, as tackling challenges makes life interesting but overcoming them is what makes our lives meaningful!

“The boy who is going to make a great man must not make up his mind merely to overcome a thousand obstacles, but to win in spite of a thousand repulses and defeats.”

Best Wishes,
Maahi PM