Ambivalence

You’re not in love with her 

If yelling at her in an argument doesn’t make your throat burn like you just downed six shots, you’re not in love with her.

If her eyes can’t make you stop in your tracks and think about what you are about to say next, you’re not in love with her.

If her laugh doesn’t make you tense up your knuckles thinking about never hearing it again, you’re not in love with her.

If it only hurts her when she cries, you’re not in love with her.

If her voice cant calm your worst anxiety attacks and make you want to listen to anything she has to say, you’re not in love with her.

If her smile doesn’t make your chest quake and your lungs shrink but feel refreshed all in one motion, you’re not in love with her. 

If her taking her clothes off is when you pay the most attention to her, you’re not in love with her at all. 

Best wishes,

Maahi PM

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Daily Prompt: Infinite

Via Daily Prompt: Infinite

We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.
We must remember that beyond the horizon of the so called impossible is infinite possibility.

Best Wishes,

Maahi PM

A Day…..

A day without her – Fun

A week without her – Tiring

A month without her – Sad

A year without her – Lonely

A life without her – Curse

 

Best Wishes,

Maahi PM

 

Daily Prompt: Gone

Via Daily Prompt: Gone

A few short stories in relation to today’s daily prompt. Somewhere hidden within the text is a sense of something being gone or lost. I find that the word gone itself is very empty with little to offer in terms of emotion.

The Wi-Fi was fine and good 
It was I who had no connections left

“You really mean the world to be my darling!”
This was the birthday text that was sent.
Blue ticks. It’s been read. No reply.
The heart sank. I understood, someone else has taken the place. 

Somewhere between yesterday’s shadow and 
Somewhere between tomorrow’s insecurities 
We end up ruining today’s happiness.

Sooner or later, 
We all come to realise that being a 
Child was the best thing ever.

“Can you live without him?” her friend asked.
“No, but I would rather let him fly than break his wings.”

They both cried endlessly.
One had to forget and move on, 
The other regretted letting go. 

Somewhere between parents expectations and society’s interference, dreams died. 

Take me back in time when people and emotions were real.
Take me to my childhood….

Somewhere between “I want to grow up” and 
“I want to be a child again”, Life happened.

 

Best Wishes,

Maahi PM

A Message

A messages has arrived;
It troubles me
A letter has come
It asks,
When will you return home?
Write to me, oh my loved one, when will you come home?
For without you, this home is soulless, empty

A lover, a lady has written a letter,
When is you return home?
For this home is empty, lifeless without you
They all ask, when will you return home?
The scented dawns, the riotous evenings,
The lonely nights, the flowers in her hair,
The incomplete words, the yearning embraces,
and the longing glances have all asked
When shall you return?
for without you this home is empty, lifeless without you.

A messages has arrived;
It troubles me
A letter has come
It asks,
When will you return home?
Write to me, oh my loved one, when will you come home?
For without you, this home is soulless, empty

The lover writes;
The towns, the shadows of the willow trees,
The old park bench, the rain showering down,
The fields of poppy, the town squares,
The ocher climbers, the twisting vines,
The rocking swings, the swaying flowers,
The bursting blossoms, and the lanes of the towns ask
When shall you return?
for without you this home is empty, lifeless without you.

The message has arrived,
Written with love in her eyes, words burstings with affection, with sentiment.
A tenderness, a warmth, a concern, a passion,
Sometimes Outwardly in anger, sometimes inwardly in love
In every word my lover asks,
When will you return home?
Write to me, oh my loved one, when will you come home?
For without you, this home is soulless, empty

Oh passing wind, in your arms carry my embrace to my lover
Quicken to my town, where the twisting vines await,
Quicken to my town with the swaying flowers,
Quicken to my lane with the shadows of the willows tress call out,
Quicken to my lane where by beloved resides
Give embrace to her, give her my love, give her my touch.
Tell her I love her so
Tell her I shall return one day

Memory

Freedom

Freedom
She is seated on a park bench,
Her breathing: shallow and rapid
Her body: shivering with anger,
Hot droplets of sweat dripping from her brow,
Thoughts come at the speed of lightning.

Happiness now a faint memory of feelings which no longer exist,
Replaced instead with a turbulent struggling soul,
Tears streaming, war raging yet still surviving.

Her vision blurred, her objective set,
Anticipation no longer distracting her,
A momentary clam, a release,
Stillness.

Unleashed is the frustration
Unleashed is the pain
Unleashed is the anger

The warmth is calming
It is comforting and silent
She is smiling
Freedom

Best Wishes,
Maahi PM

Ending

The pain does not stop
It remains as alive as the air in the lungs

A strong pounding, a slicing cut to the core
It does not cease with no horizon in sight
As the darkness deepens, so does this anguish
The words of criticism, disgust and contempt come at the speed of light 
Each word destroying all traces of hope and aspiration
No one listens, no one hears, no one sees and no one cares
It’s all coming to an end and a smile emerges
Soon there will be freedom
No worries to engulf the mind and no  people to call our own
Tears mock the sadness within and loneliness dances in joy
Time at a standstill, life lapses slowly
A soulless creature, a cheap being no longer needed
Dragged through the corridors of hell 
There is no scream there is no sorrow, but a numbness which fills a void
A nothing will soon arise 
Soon there will be silence
Soon there will be an ending

To Be Alone

I am alone
I am not sad but I am alone
Sometimes it’s better to be alone
Nobody can hurt you

Day in day out I fight to survive
Day in day out I fail in someway
The pain chipping away at my soul
Breaking me down into a bottomless hole

The sun is bright and warm, a glimmer of hope
I have it all yet I am alone, suddenly void of all strength
Pressure squeezing away my joy, my sanity

I am alone
In a fast paced world, a world of ignorance, a world of selfishness
I am alone
Am I ungrateful? May be so….

Born a fighter, brave as can be
Softly spoken, emotionally rich
Selfless in nature, sacrifice my second name
I am alone

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
No choice but to stand and fight
While tears continue to slide
A prayer passes my lips in this plight

Humans a source of frustration
Tired of all the secrets
Fear of loosing all my loved one
Nowhere to scream, I am alone

A deafening roar awaits to be released
Can you no longer feel my anguish?
Oh ignorant soul I am human too!
Yet I am alone in this darkening hole
A cloud of confusion disturbing my thoughts

My patience seals my lips while I search for a middle lane
I am tired, oh so tired
A wish to be liberated from this distress
My voice vacuumed into a whimper

I am my only saviour, I am my only rescue
Neither am I defenceless, neither am i armed
I am merely alone searching for a soul
A cry for help in this merciless world

Just a dream I have of some happiness, peace, and honesty
A demand too great for those around me
I am alone on this earth
Unable to choose

Your venomous conditional love poisons my existence
Craving away at my life
Deepening my scars
Leaving behind a living corpse

I am alone looking to rest my mind
I am alone in this squall of voices
I am alone in the heated vessel
I am alone on a leash

I am alone

 

I love you more than you know

I love you with all my heart and soul and I thought that you should know that I’m with you till the end
I hope you know that I mean it so
You mean the world to me, you light up my day, you touch my heart in your own sweet way.
You unlocked my heart and put a beat into my life when I thought that my life was over
I want to say that I love you and not a moment goes by where I don’t think of you
A boy as wonderful as you is very hard to find
You bring me comfort when you are by my side, the love that I have for you is endless and something which I cannot hide
I love when we hold hands because you have and hold the biggest place in my heart and everyday I pray that we never be apart
I love you so much and I want you to know there is no one else in this world I’d be happier with, I’m happiest when I am with you
You bring rays of sunshine into my life every moment I am with you
The love I have for you is pure and true and when I am with you, I am complete
Since I have been with you, you have lit the path of my life with hope and dreams, laughter and strength, love and security, warmth and encouragement
When I look into your beautiful eyes, I see the love you have for me and I want you to know,
A, I love you more than you know

Author: Bagande
Author: Bagande (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A Rage

The fire rages on, a shining blue in colour
The heat intensifying with every move, every though
Its silence deadly and deep
Tension and pressure surrounding its walls
A volcano burning, poisoning its own habitat
A sinking of a good heart, vermin clouding all conscious awareness
Bottomless rage ignitable by the wind
This wrath, the enemy of love, understanding, trust and respect
Destroying all elements of hope
Leaving behind a sad, lonesome emptiness
Like the rain, fall the burning droplets of rage
Unpredictable and uncontrollable
A feeling of despair, disappointment and failure
A burning butterfly, an innocent victim of injustice
Overwhelming in nature, yet rage so weak in nature
The realisation of being weak and powerless
Injustice fuelling this rage
Powerlessness fuelling this anger
An endless vicious circle of breaking, crumbling and destroying
Hurting words, painful memories which cannot be reversed
This rage, a sudden eruption of a volcano
Splashing agony and pain in all directions
The beginning of an all extinguishing inferno,
Entire worlds will be destroyed, an inextinguishable rage
Rage. Uncontrollable. Unpredictable. Inextinguishable.
A rage polished and masked with a smile and a nod,
Varnished into an illusion. Pain unnoticeable. Grief immeasurable.
Best Wishes,
Maahi PM