A Day…..

A day without her – Fun

A week without her – Tiring

A month without her – Sad

A year without her – Lonely

A life without her – Curse

 

Best Wishes,

Maahi PM

 

Daily Prompt: Gone

Via Daily Prompt: Gone

A few short stories in relation to today’s daily prompt. Somewhere hidden within the text is a sense of something being gone or lost. I find that the word gone itself is very empty with little to offer in terms of emotion.

The Wi-Fi was fine and good 
It was I who had no connections left

 

“You really mean the world to be my darling!”
This was the birthday text that was sent.
Blue ticks. It’s been read. No reply.
The heart sank. I understood, someone else has taken the place. 

 

Somewhere between yesterday’s shadow and 
Somewhere between tomorrow’s insecurities 
We end up ruining today’a happiness.

 

Sooner or later, 
We all come to realise that being a 
Child was the best thing ever.

 

“Can you live without him?” her friend asked.
“No, but I would rather let him fly than break his wings.”

 

They both cried endlessly.
One had to forget and move on, 
The other regretted letting go. 

 

Somewhere between parents expectations and 
Society’s interference, dreams died. 

 

Take me back in time when people and emotions were real.
Take me to my childhood….

 

Somewhere between “I want to grow up” and 
“I want to be a child again”, Life happened.

 

Best Wishes,

Maahi PM

Tough Love

1. The little things that make us happy, the little things which make us feel loved, cared for, respected and appreciated always seem little at the time, but as the years pass, you will realise that they are what make up the very essence and beauty of your relationship.

2. Love has and will always remain to be a risk and gamble. You may know a person very closely and be very comfortable with them but none of us can ever be 100% sure as none or us can predict the future.

3. It’s more important that everyday you are able to consciously choose your partner to be your partner rather that just blaming it or putting it down merely on fate or simply stating that you were “meant to be.” It would be foolish to think or believe that you just floated passively into the relationship; you, like your partner were equal in choosing to take the steps to develop a relationship with each other so you are equally responsible.

4. Relationships, and by that I mean any relationships are bloody hard work and we all know it. Sometimes, you will become frustrated and you’re going to think that shutting down, bringing up the brick wall and emotionally removing yourself from the problem and quite possibly from the relationship temporarily is the wise and mature thing to do.

5. However, hiding or suppressing your feelings, bringing up that wall and closing yourself off from your partner is just as hurtful to them and harmful to your relationship as it is lashing out or yelling. The behaviour creates unnecessary uncertainty and animosity. Sometimes, it can be more detrimental to withdrawn emotionally from the relationship and your partner and the damage can be irreversible.

6. At times it will feel strange to become so open with another person – not caring when they see you in your most hideous state, being more concerned with having a good sleep than with looking adorable while doing so, having no shame regarding bodily functions, etc.

7. But these sort of things are also what bring you to the next level of intimacy in your relationship – being so close with someone that you feel like they’re the only person in the world who knows the unedited, unfiltered, unperfected version of you. The only person who knows the realest, most simple version of you and loves you because of it.

8. The novelty of a being with a new person is infatuating, but its inability to last long-term is what makes it so addictive in the first place.

9. A lasting, meaningful and long term relationship will not always feel as exciting and thrilling as the beginning of a new fling or affair, but it is much more likely to provide lasting happiness and contentment.

10. Sometimes your significant other is going to absolutely drive you crazy – and not in a passionate, head-over-heels kind of way. Its the kind of crazy where you wish you could make use of a club and a spade, oh and you just have to accept that its totally normal.

11. Physical attraction is critical but you have to remember everybody gets old and wrinkly. Therefore, attraction should be primarily be based on the persons values and their personality from the onset. This way you both are more likely to become more attractive to each other as you grow old together.

12. Love, roses, attraction affection and relationships are not immune to issues, arguments, and disagreements. The relationships which last are simply the ones who work out how to work through it, no matter how long it takes or how unpleasant it may be.

13. You will never be completely in love with every single aspect of your significant other. Of course, most of their quirks will be irresistible, some will drive you up the wall and make you scream. What is important is that you love them as a whole person, without trying to change them into a flawless, ideal and ‘perfect’ partner (who will never exist).

14. It’s easy to be in love when things are simple; it’s harder to be in love and stay in love when it feels as if every part of your life is an effort and a struggle. But as strange as it may sound, in relationships you become much closer when you go through shitty times together, as opposed to the uncomplicated phases of life.

15. It’s normal to love someone very deeply but to sometimes not like them.

16. Harsh as it may sound, you will never be completely fulfilled by another person. They can make you feel whole, loved, and happy. But its is not not at all possible to find the real meaning and purpose of your life within them – they can form a part of your life, but they are not the answer to it entirely. You have to take responsibility for your own happiness first before they can share that happiness with you.

17. Sometimes, loving your partner will not be effortless. It will take work and energy but don’t be under the illusion that this makes your relationship a failure. On the contrary, it makes you both real and human.

Best Wishes,

Maahi PM

Emotions

I love my life and I love myself. I am happy within my own skin and I know very few people who can say this without either flinching or avoiding the question. In my line of work I see so many patients who really are quite disturbed by their actual self and cannot function without negativity in almost every sentence they say. There’s the anxiety of becoming old and losing the full functionality of their body as well as their minds. Then there’s the chronic fear of loneliness, abandonment and isolation from friends and family who either live further afield or have passed away due to ill-health. The loss importance is another theme that often arises in conversation. Many of my old dear patients feel so unimportant despite their knowledge and vast life experience. They couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, a large part of my life has been built on the foundations of having acquaintance with people who are often 20-30 years older than me at least. However, society really does not have any space for them or any useful and meaningful role which they can continue to play and live a more fulfilling and satisfying quality of life. It’s a sad situation and a real loss for society despite the abundance of this resource of knowledge and experience.

It’s not just the elderly that feel this way, its younger adults too. I witnessed something today which is not only rare but also dangerous. A senior member of staff and a psychiatrist argued like children to the point where the entire situation became toxic. It ended with the psychiatrist storming out in tears accusing the other member of staff of assault. Did the assault occur? I honestly don’t know and my view was blocked therefore I couldn’t see. Personally however, I really don’t believe my colleague was or even is capable of assaulting anyone. The psychiatrist really felt threatened by the behaviour and attitude of senior member of staff. This threat I believe was fuelled by her underlying issues, her vulnerability rather than the behaviour of the senior member of staff actually behaving in a threatening manner. She screams and leaves the office. Emotions were really running very high and my head was spinning from all the negativity in the room. I went after the psychiatrist who was now more vulnerable than I had ever seen since her arrival to the team almost three weeks ago. I followed her because no one ran after me when I felt threatened or vulnerable. She wears a happy-go-lucky attitude, a smile plastered on her face almost too easily, laughing and joking with the team. Her work ethic is strong, she oozes knowledge and expertise and completing clinical practice diligently with patient care at the centre of her practice. Yet this is an individual who is extremely vulnerable. The positive suit she wears is fake, behind which she carries a great deal of pain, hurt and damage. A heartbreaking observation to see her pathetic attempts at trying to win the acceptance of her colleagues and the only means by which she feels she can achieve this is put across a front which is so transparent. The psychiatrists position does not reflect her inner state of mind, one which is of chaos and confusion. She returned to the office composing herself.

Everyone is fighting their own battle, in one way of another yet we are just unable to see it because we are so engrossed in our own battles. This self-consuming disease of distress and pain has driven us to become ignorant of those around us. We have financial issues, family issues, personal identity issues to name but a few. We become so engrossed in the struggle to get something me we want to have become complacent. No one wishes to maintain an acceptable level of control over their emotions and fight their own battles privately perhaps due to a lack of knowledge on how to or the mere fact that the emotions are overwhelming.

As humans, if we are all carrying such negativity and stress around with us then what would make it easier for us? What is the one thing that would change the way you feel at one particular moment. The psychiatrist said to me she was grateful that I had come after her to encourage her to come back into the office. Another has said thank you for just being there while she just swears and screams. Another just wanting a hand while she has a panic attack. There was no judgment, there was no back biting and no break of trust. I was just there and such incidents don’t come up again in conversation, particularly from my side. I have come to realise that allowing someone to just vent their feelings at one particular point is so important and so vital to the individuals mental well-being.

Why are we so afraid of our emotions? We know how they feel when we feel them, so why do we ignore them when others around us feel the same?

Best Wishes,
Maahi PM

Regrets, I’ve had a few

What’s your biggest regret? How would your life have been different if you’d made another decision?

Regrets. We all have them and they play an aspect in shaping our lives. I’m no different. I have some and they often put me in situations that I could avoid. One of my biggest regrets is that I am emotional and, without sounding too self-proclaiming, I’m too nice. There have been times where I have not stood up for myself as much as I should have which has resulted in me often being used and abused. It left me feeling empty and worthless for a while but I still continued. If I had stood firmly on my own two feet and not worry about acceptance and fitting in I think my younger life would most definitely have been happier and easier.

Even now, II do feel that I am a bit of a push over and regret that but there is much more of a better understanding of it, I can almost justify it to myself in a more logical manner, in a more acceptable manner. So I am just covering up and justifying certain behaviours and continuing the same behaviour? Well, no. I know my limits now, I have set my boundaries to protect myself and I myself recognise my limits. When I have not stood up for myself I have often lost out on things I actually deserve and at a later date this has come back to bite me. There would most definitely have been different friends, a different job, a different marriage and a more desirable outcome. It’s all been in aid of being accepted and wanted, which are basic and natural needs of humans. However, I’ve learnt the hard way that pushing something that is not worth pushing is not always a good idea.

My biggest regret is not going for and waiting for what I deserve and in the end it has made me unhappy at times but the concept of being alone and unaccepted was too strong at the time that I was blinded by a desperation. But I’ve grown up now, and quickly too. I’ve learnt what I deserve and I’m now going after it, even if it means leaving a few people whom I do love behind.

Best Wishes,
Maahi PM

 

The Illusion

When we are in emotional distress and are hurting and in pain, there is seldom another standing beside us to help us through our suffering. So we become stronger, we fight the pain, we deal with our anguish. This strength sustains us throughout our youth. The illusion we create for ourselves is that our strength will see us through our darkest days. But we all age in one form or another and our strength does not sustain us, it disintegrates and we break. We have created a trap. With age comes many aliments which tax us of our energy and strength yet we still seek out the support we so needed when we were younger. What we forget is if there was no support when we were younger, why would there be support when we age?

Best wishes,
Maahi PM

When she stops caring

In conversation with some female acquaintances, we tumbled upon the subject of when does a girl stop caring about her boyfriend/husband. It was evident that a lot of the women were quite enthusiastic about the topic and rushed to contribute their complaints. It was obvious that many of them had genuine complaints of emotional turmoil which seemed endless while others concentrated on specifics. The conversation was very fruitful with many stopping to show they care at minor mistakes such as forgetting taking the bin out or forgetting to put the toilet seat down. Others portrayed much more tolerance, concentrating more on the emotional connections, affection, sharing and understanding they had with their partner. So what is the stage at which a girl genuinely stops caring and more importantly does it make any difference to the male involved? Below I have complied a list which show a general theme of the subject rather than specifics.

1. She will not try to catch your attention because yesterday she was someone special for you and today she is nobody to you.
2. She will not fight for you anymore because you no longer listen or understand her.
3. She won’t reply to your message as quickly anymore because she is tired of trying so hard all the time and she is tired of waiting.
4. She won’t try to keep the conversation going anymore because she has lost all hope that you’ll understand or listen.
5. She will not care anymore because you never showed her that you care.
6. She’s no longer jealous because you never put her mind at rest that she is the only one for you.
7. She no longer cares if you care or not anymore because she never received your care, love and affection when she needed it.
8. She’s no longer goes to your profile and whine to people about how happy you’re, talking to other girls because she knows she means nothing to you.
9. She will stop caring when she is does not receive the respect she once expected from you.
10. She will stop caring when you no longer try and make up with her after a fight.
11. She will stop caring when you insult her and belittle her because she knows she doesn’t deserve that.
12. She will give up on trying to make you love her, because she finally realises that she will not receive the love she wanted, needed and expected from you and you will miss her.

Miss the way she cared about you.
Miss the way she loved you. And you have lost her heart and love.

So don’t take any girls for granted gentleman, if you love her, let her know before she gives up !!

Best wishes,
Maahi PM

Time and Karma

Time and Karma
Time and Karma

When a bird is alive.. It eats ants

When bird dies.. Ants eat it

That which makes you cry today will tomorrow count as experience

Today a saint will tomorrow be a sinner

A palace for home today

A mud hut in a slum tomorrow

One tree can be made into a million matchsticks,

Yet only one matchstick is needed to burn millions of trees

You may have had the highest mountains and the deepest rivers

You can have it all but life keeps moving on

Circumstances can change at any time

The circle of time and the wheel of karma keep turning

Don’t devalue or hurt anyone in this life

You may be powerful today but time is more powerful than you.

Best wishes,

Maahi PM

I Am

I am a liar, I am dishonest because I wont tell you everything?
I am stupid, I am ridiculous and naive because sometimes I am wrong?
I am ugly because my face isn’t perfect and I am simple?
I am a pushover I am too immature because I like making people happy?
I am a loser, I am a loner because I am not friend within your group?
I am fake, I am manipulative and materialistic because I am too nice, too kind?
I am weird, I am different, I am strange because I am not like you?
I am greedy because I eat when I’m hungry?
I am clingy, I am needy because I don’t like to be alone?
I am insecure, I am childlike because I care about what people think of me?
I am no fun because I’m not always hyper, I do not understand or tell jokes?
I am stubborn, I am arrogant because I have self-respect?
I am boring, I am dull because I read and study a lot?

Do not tell me who I am, because I am who I am and I already know who I am!

Best wishes,
Maahi PM

Live everyday, die just once

We have been gifted with one life. This life we must live everyday come rain or shine. How we choose to live it is our choice, because rain and shine will come no matter what. It is our perception, attitude, behaviour and actions which determines how much we have actually lived. We LIVE our one gifted life everyday according to choices. We do not live just once, we live everyday we choose to. We die just one time.